You have just had casual sex — or should we say you have just had sex with a guy who seems nice/strong/a bad boy — whatever you were interested in tonight.
What kind of thoughts is the girl thinking?
First, she lays there thinking What does this mean? What kind of relationship do we now have? What is our future together?
W ow, three minutes of joy for him. I didn’t realize three minutes could seem so long.
Do I really want to settle for him?
Will he call me, or ask me to marry him, or ask me to move in with him?
Girls and guys are hard wired differently in their brains. Picture it like this. A guy’s brain is like a waffle. Lots of little separate compartments. He can jump from one to another quickly, but each compartment is separate. Girls brains are like a bowl of spaghetti . Everything is connected. everything has to tie in. This is why when she is talking it can seem like she is jumping from one topic to another to another. What she is doing is connecting this new thought or idea with all the rest. Like one piece of spaghetti touches most of the other pieces in a bowl, one thought connected to many many other thoughts in her head.
She want to know how this action of sex connected with the rest of her life.
Guys you can have a fun sexual experience in three minutes. You aren’t even getting her warmed up in that amount of time. Do this and she will start feeling like sex is no big deal to her, but she can see that it is a big deal to you. Instant bargaining chip. If she isn’t getting much out of the sex, she will find ways to make you jump through hoops to get it. Guys, as first you may say Let the jumping begin, but it will get old very quickly.
If she wants to settle for you, she will start putting your face on the guy in her wedding plans.
If she doesn’t want to settle, she can come up with reasons why this was a fluke — I was too drunk to know what I was doing, what happened, did we do it. That was a big mistake.
What happens now?
If she thinks he is a loser, she will start thinking up ways to avoid you in the future, to not answer your calls, to be really busy
If she thinks you are a keeper, she will start figuring out the next steps in your ‘relationship’ — you might not even realize you have a relationship.
There is no free lunch. There is no such thing as Free Sex. Each come with a price. Now you are figuring out the price afterward. You can’t give it back. You have to pay. You can get good at avoiding the real cost, but it will catch up with you.