You can’t test out a great relationship by living together or by having sex.
If you live together, you can ignore the little irritating things they do.
toilet seat up
cap off the tooth paste
over/under for the toilet paper roll
how neat or messy they are
It seems to work like this
you make a mental list
pros available for sex, fun times
cons annoying habits, family, friends
When the balance tips to more negatives than positives
you can walk away and get someone else who can meet your needs
for the next year, next month, next night.
You always have this to count on:
IF it gets bad enough, I can walk away.
By keeping your freedom, the other person has the same options.
If everything is working for you,
it probably isn’t working for them.
I’ve seen this a number of times — a couple living together for years
and then getting married and it fall apart in a short time.
It isn’t the act of getting married that caused the problem.
One of them was feeling insecure in the relationship and wanted to try to make it last
by getting married.
Marriage isn’t some magic pill that will keep you together.
Marriage is only going to work out when both people go in
with a commitment to be together forever.
And they need some authority that they both trust that sets standards.
Otherwise one or the other takes on the role of saying
I’m right, you either agree with me or you are wrong.
And the whole thing falls apart from there.
So why not just have sex when you want to have it
with whoever seems good that day.
This is usually the case. If you are thinking
this is working out great, good sex, no ties, no commitment
the other person is probably thinking one of these
I could do better
I’d like this to be a relationship so I’ll make it into one.
If you give more than you receive,
you start looking other places to balance it out.
If you receive more than you give,
you enjoy it but then wonder why the other
person isn’t satisfied.