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You are here: Home / So Called Experts / Saying NO, gracefully

Saying NO, gracefully

September 8, 2011 By dschenk Leave a Comment

verse 7

My lover is like a gazelle or a young stag.

Look! There he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, peering through the lattice.

He is coming to her house.  Her feeling are aroused.  But he doesn’t come in where sexual contact would be easy and they could be alone.

verses 11-13

See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  The season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.  The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.  My dove in the clefts of the rock,  in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for you voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.

 The address “my dove” (cf. also 5:2 and 6:9) does not imply a claim of ownership (contra Krinetzki); it confesses that in the beloved the speaker encounters love—if not the love-goddess—in person.  (29) page 106

let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is [infatuating}, and your face is [ravishing]. (29) page 103

The speaker’s request to be permitted to see the face of his beloved, especially in the Hebrew wording, is reminiscent of Moses’ request that the Lord permit him to see his glory (Exod. 33:18). (29) page 106

Purpose and Thrust.  Although the request mentions the visual appearance first and then the voice, this order is reversed in the basis, yielding an abb’a’ structure or chiasm.  The structure emphasizes the strict correspondence of the comparison—the voice is just as infatuating (or “sweet”; cf. Prov. 20:17) as the face is ravishing.  The numinous quality common to both the request and the basis justifies these strong words.  The usual translations (“pleasant,” “lovely”, etc.) are too pallid, failing to do justice to the intensity that enlivens this little song. (29) page 107

Notice that he said NO without using the word.  He said it is a very positive way with compliments.

If girls say NO, the  guy often takes that as not now, not yet,  she says no but her eyes say yes.  The guy often sees it as more of a challenge.  Street signals turn red, but they also change and turn yellow or green.  NO means NO right now.

If guys say NO, girls often see that as a rejection of them, that he doesn’t think she is good enough or sexy enough.  Girls tend to tie it in to everything in their life.

So guys, if you have the guts to say NO, do it carefully and try to not use the word NO when you do it.

If this girl is special to you and you can say NO, Wait, you will find that it is much harder to do than to just slide into sexual activity.  But it is worth the WAIT.

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Filed Under: So Called Experts Tagged With: .aroused, dove, face, lover, no, sexy, wait

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