Becoming Serious 2:8 – 3:5
- Is the guy saying NO (in a very careful way)?
- Have they had sex yet
- Is she following her own advice now?
This section starts out with her at home and he is just arriving.
The voice of my beloved! Behold! He comes leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold. He is standing behind our wall, gazing through the windows, peering through the lattice.
At first this sounded a little weird. Is he like a peeping tom? No he is standing behind the wall so he is giving them some space. She certainly has developed a high opinion of him. Maybe a little exaggeration with the leaping over mountains part. At least it isn’t like superman, where she would say he was leaping over mountains with a single bound. We can certainly picture him coming quickly. Mountains and hills are only minor obstacles for him.
Then he calls out to her and she tells us what he said:
My beloved responded and said to me, Arise my darling companion, by beautiful one; come away. For behold, the winter has passed. The rain is over and gone. The blossoms have appeared in the land. The time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines in blossom give off fragrance. Arise, my darling companion, my beautiful one; come away.
He is certainly excited about spring time. He has orchards and vineyards and gardens and they are all springing to life. You have heard it said that money doesn’t grow on trees, but if you own orchards, what the trees produce is turned into money. In his excitement he doesn’t forget about her. At the start and the end he calls her his darling companion and his beautiful one. The excitement is contagious and she is more than willing to go out into the countryside with him.
Eventually he asks this:
O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places of the cliff, let me see your form; let me hear your voice: for you voice is pleasing and your form is lovely.
thy countenance is comely KJ21
for sweet is thy voice and thy countenance is comely ASV
for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely AMP
The sound of your voice is sweet, and the sight of you is lovely. CEB
Let me see your lovely face and hear your enchanting voice. GNT
‘your face is lovely’ is the translations in over twenty versions. He is happy to see her and to hear her voice. He isn’t trying to have sex with her. He could have tried for that when she was at home. Read it again and see if you come up with the same thing I finally realized. HE SAID NO. He took her out with him into a semi public place. He stayed out of her house, away from her bedroom. I think you are going to observe this throughout the first part of the story. She is turned on, horny, in love. She is infatuated by him. By the way he looks, by his character.
This is the first big lesson that I learned as I read the story over and over. He took the lead in NOT having sex. In our society, the guy is expected to try to push further until the girl says no. Then the gentleman stops, the bad boy uses whatever he can to get her to allow him to push further. It seems that alcohol and other drugs are ok if she knows about them and takes them willingly. Once she is unconscious or has been given alcohol or other drugs without her knowledge, our society seems to still think this is wrong.
The next section could have been said by either of them, some suggest maybe by both of them.
Let us catch the foxes, the little foxes who ruin vineyards, because our vineyards are in bloom.
Foxes, even very small ones, would go into the newly planted vineyard, dig up the vines and eat the soft roots. That is what foxes would do in the area where they lived. They both knew that. The message is: watch out for the guys, the girls who would be willing to jump in and get between them. A song comes on at the gym with the lyrics ‘I can do it better than her’ repeated over and over. I can bring you more satisfaction sexually than this person who expects you to wait. You can have it now. You deserve to be satisfied. Guys have needs, and I can fill the needs for you.
Whatever the line they are trying to short cut your relationship. Guys, if you can keep her interested in you when you are saying Wait for Sex, while other guys are willing to give her sex now, then you have a chance at a Great Relationship. If she is willing to shortcut things and get the good feelings now that come with having sex, then you are better off learning this now before you end up doing something stupid like marrying her.
My Dad car pooled with a guy, and sometimes they would give me a ride to school. One day he came up with an excuse to get his wife to come outside when we picked him up. He forgot his lunch or something. What he really wanted was for me to see how beautiful his wife looked after having 5 kids. And he was right, she looked hot and I never would have guessed that she had ever given birth. About six months later my Dad told me that she had run off with a repair man who had been to the house to fix one of their appliances. She was used to getting what she wanted when she wanted it. Oh, and the five kids — she left them behind and never looked back. Guys, I’m just saying that if she isn’t willing to wait, then you are better off letting her go. It might be painful, but not as painful as having her run off and leaving you to take care of five kids on your own.
My opinion is that she says 2:16 to the audience (or this is what she is thinking)
My beloved is mine, and I am his, he who grazes among the lotus flowers.
Then she says this to him:
When the day breathes, and the shadows flee, turn, be like, my beloved, a gazelle or a young stag on the divided mountains.
The same word translated here as ‘day’ is used 5 times in Song of Solomon. The other four 3:11 (twice), 4:6 and 8:8 all refer to the wedding day, or to the wedding day and night and the following daybreak. So I think she knows his plan to wait until the wedding for sex. She is making sure that she expects sexual activity at that time. She is referring to her breasts. By using the gazelle and the young stag she is giving him a definite image. The gazelle had a very light touch as it moved quietly up the mountain. The young stag is strong and aggressive as it powers its way up the mountain. It knocks rocks and dirt loose as it loudly makes it way up the mountain.
Guys, girls like the contact to vary at different time — sometimes they like the light touch, other times they like it stronger and assertive. And what they want can change quickly. Learn how to read this and you and you will receive much better reactions from her. One reason I think that she says this to him has to do with his statement in 4:6. This sounds like a response to what she says here. Kind of like, you seemed concerned about whether the wait would be worth it — I will do all that you asked for and more.
In the next section in Song of Solomon, she tells us what she is thinking, then she tells us what she did.
Upon my bed in the nights, I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him but did not find him. I will arise now and go about in the city, in the streets and in the squares. I will seek him whom my soul loves. I sought him but did not find him. they found me — the watchmen who go about in the city. “Have you seen him whom my soul loves?” Scarcely had I passed form them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held on to him and would not let him go until I had brought him to the house of my mother, to the place of the one who conceived me.
Night after night, she searched for him in her bed. She didn’t find him because he wasn’t ever there. She could think about him, and dream about him, but the way she found him was to get up and go out into the city. Notice she asks the Watchmen if they had seen him, but they didn’t even respond. It sounds to me like she waited until morning to go searching for him. Later in the story she receives harsh treatment from the Watchmen. The part about taking him to the house of her mother isn’t real clear to me. One observation is that they both become serious in the relationship — see the wedding in the next section.
She finishes with a warning:
I want you to promise me, O young women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and by the does of the field, not to arouse, not to awaken love until love pleases to awaken.
It is exactly the same warning as the one she gave them earlier. Don’t wake up love until it pleases, until the right time. She is waiting, somewhat patiently, and she is giving them advice that she is following — think, hope, dream, wait.
She is very interested and positive about sexual contact. Guys, if you want her to think of sex as something guys always want and girls tolerate once in a while to keep the relationship going, then do this. Have sex in the back seat of a car. Show her that you can go from start to done in 3 minutes. It will probably feel good to you, and it will leave her going “What was that?”
When I worked with junior high kids, boys and girls had the same amount of interest in sex. What i worked with college students, the guys were still interested, but the girls had mixed reactions about how they felt about sex. The girls all thought that sex was the main thought on all guys brains. What changed? They had sex.
I think some surveys show what happened. The numbers vary some, but the surveys usually show about 50% of the high school students have sex sometime during their time in high school. Now, if you dig a little deeper, the surveys also show that half of the 50% had sex ONCE. Sex in cramped conditions, done quickly and with very little meaning as far as love, romance, marriage, and relationship go is slanted toward the guy. He can have sex this way and it can feel good. It takes a woman’s body time to warm up and get focused on sex. A guy can be in, out and done before the girl is barely warming up. Guys when you are done, she isn’t going to warm up any more. And her attitude about sex could easily change to think of it as a tool to use to obtain what she wants.
Neither one will ever reach GREAT SEX, going at it this way.
Compare the sex you know about — it doesn’t have to be first hand knowledge — with what happens in Song of Solomon. So far hardly any physical contact in Song of Solomon. How does that compare with our society and the way people move into a relationship?
Watch how the waiting starts to pay off big tim in the rest of the book.