It opens with an old man siting in a rocking chair with a boy about 11 or 12 years old sprawled out on a couch near him. This is his grandson.
GP (Grandpa)
Have enough blankets?
Boy
Yes I’m fine.
Tell me about Grandma. Does she really not know you when you go to see her every morning?
GP
We aren’t sure just how much she recognizes and remembers. But I introduce myself each day and ask if she would like to have breakfast with me. It’s kind of like winning her affection again each day.
Boy
But grandpa, if she doesn’t know you, why do you go. That Mrs Smith lady checks you out at church and…
GP
Grandma may not know who she is, but I know who she is and being with her brings back all the memories of what we’ve shared and built together. As far as Mrs Smith – she is just looking for something she doesn’t have. If she doesn’t honor my marriage commitment, she isn’t someone I’d ever want to spend time with. She doesn’t really respect me, or care about me or Grandma. She is just looking out for herself and what she thinks she wants.
Boy
Why don’t Mom and Dad act like you. I get tired of them fighting and we end up coming to spend time here with you. Not that I don’t like to spend time with you but…
GP
That’s OK. I know what you mean. Everyone has to work out their own relationships. And right now your parents are having a tough time. Hopefully, spending some time together will help them work through the tough times. Relationships are hard because it takes two to make it work and only one can break it up. Don’t ever feel like their problems are something you caused or are responsible for.
It’s too early to go to sleep. How about a story? Do you think you are old enough to hear a story about love and sex and romance. One about marriage and fighting and making up.
Boy
Come on Grandpa. I know all about that stuff. Some of the older girls at school are starting to fill out on top and other ones wish they were and try to fake it with stuff in their bras. The guys like to guess who is faking and who is real.
GP
In my day they used Kleenex tissues or socks. Now when they get older they are having surgery to get implants – really just fancy bags of water or plastic…
Boy
Oh gross. At least with socks they can have the socks or not. Sticking stuff in their bodies just to look bigger is weird.
Girl (his 15 ½ year old sister)
You think everything about girls is gross. I might do it when I’m older. Mom says give it time to see how much a fill out before doing it. Grandpa that story sounds interesting. It is so boring with no TV or computer or my phone.
GP
Yes, it might seem that way when you are used to all those things. Do you want to call off our deal? You can use your phone if you want, or you can go without it all evening and then I’ll take you out for that driving lesson in the morning.
Girl
No. I’d rather wait and go for the lesson. Mom and Dad are always too busy to take me. And Mom freaks out and make me nervous.
Boy
Ok grandpa, lets do a story, but not that sissy one you were talking about. I like the one about Ehud the left handed judge who helped Israel when he stabbed the fat king in the belly with his sword and his fat rolled over the handle of the sword so that none of his helpers realized what happened until Ehud got away.
Girl
That is sick.
GP
Your sister is right, you could get kind of sick thinking about that. It is a fun story to tell, but the story I have in mind for tonight is fun in a different way. You are starting to notice the differences between men and women. This story will help you understand some about how a woman thinks and feels. You are about old enough for us to start looking at the book of Proverbs in the Bible. It is written from a guys point of view. It is written in short phrases or sentences. It has lots of if/then statements. If you do this, then this will happen.
Think about the waffles that we had this morning, with all the separate squares. Each little square can have something in it. You can have syrup in one square and the square next to it can be completely dry. This is a simple way to illustrate how guys often tend to think. One idea or thought goes into a square. And he can think about that one thing, and block out everything else. He can jump from one box to another, but each has its own separate little place in his brain.
The story tonight is from Song of Solomon. It is written telling what she says and then what she says that he said, and then what she is thinking or feeling. Once in a while, we actually hear him speak. Her thoughts start on one subject and then start connecting to other thoughts and other subjects. For lots of guys it seems like she is throwing out all these random thoughts. He is trying to match her thoughts up to his thoughts that are in a box. Then she seems to jump to another box and another box. What the guy has to realize if he wants the conversation to make any sense at all is that she most likely has a different way of processing information. Think about this example. Imagine a plate full of spaghetti. The kind that is made up of long pieces that are all mixed together. Now think of one of those pieces as a thought or idea. In her mind she is connecting that thought or idea with all the other thoughts and ideas in her brain. Everywhere that one piece of spaghetti touches another piece she is figuring out how they connect. Lots of girls think this way. They try to tie everything in their lives together.
Don’t try to put everyone in a box and say, you are a guy to so must think this way, or you are a girl, so you must think that way. Remember that everyone doesn’t always use the same way of thinking. If you are able to tell how the other person processes their thoughts, you will have a much better chance at following what they say.
Boy
I know that, but I didn’t know that they thought differently.
GP
The physical differences are the most obvious, but the mental and emotional differences are much greater. Guys often don’t want to pay attention to girls when they are talking and then they claim – you just can’t understand women. If they expect women to think and reason and feel emotions just like themselves, they are in for a big surprise and they will be frustrated a lot of the time.
Boy
Like Dad?
GP
Yeah, like your Dad. But enough of this, let me tell you the story.
Boy
Ok, there isn’t really much to do up here at your house without a tv or computer.
GP
Deal with it !!!!!
Now for the story.
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