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You are here: Home / So Called Experts / The Chemistry of Love

The Chemistry of Love

May 16, 2011 By dschenk Leave a Comment

Song of Solomon 2:7

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

A warning found twice in Song of Solomon.

Compare this with some thoughts in the book Sex on the Brain by Daniel Amen, M.D.

“Don’t copulate with people you don’t want to fall in love with, because indeed you may do just that.”

— Anthropologist Helen Fisher

You can wake up love way ahead of any reasoning or thought process.

and it may not be good.

Check out this story from Daniel Amen.

A guy is sitting in his van and stops at a traffic light.

Then you notice her.

She appears at the curb, waiting to cross. No, she’s not the love of your life.

She’s more like the hear of the moment. It’s fortunate that your wife isn’t there;

you’d be in deep trouble as you take in the stranger’s hips and breasts

and the way her waist scoops in to accentuate both.

You dog you may whisper under your breath, embarrassed by what you’re envisioning as you sit there in your family van.

But it might be more correct to say

You dopamine fiend!

…the neurotransmitter dopamine lights up areas deep

with the brain, triggering feelings of pleasure, motivation

and reward. (Cocaine acts the same way.)

You feel a rush and your heartbeat quickens.

Attraction too is a powerful drug. The brain stem also

gets into the act, releasing phenylethylamine (PEA), which

speeds up the flow of information between nerve cells.

The whole encounter  can leave you quivering with pleasure,

hoping for more.

It can also ruin your life, your 10 year marriage, your second grader.

Between the “walk” and “don’t walk” signals of delight and disaster your brain is sorting information

making choices, spurring actions.

Pay attention —

your whole life is riding on the choices you make.

This guy is having thoughts, generating feelings, starting all

kinds of chemical to be produced in his body.

All this for someone he has never seen before,

someone he knows nothing about.

If you let feeling alone lead you,

if will be a wild ride, and you will likely

crash and burn a number of times.

The Bible, an Anthropologist, an MD who does brain scans

All three are giving the warning — you let love start too soon,

and it will be controlling you. And it will be a painful ride.

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Filed Under: So Called Experts Tagged With: brain, copulate, marriage, pleasure, sex, song of solomon

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